Great Questions for the Unsure
Sometime last year, I received one of those emails that makes you smile as a pastor. This was one of them.
“Hey Pastor Chris,
I'm _____.… We've met a couple times at church... I have a ton of questions about everything lol. I guess here's a handful and I have no idea where to look...
How do you know you're saved/a Christian?
How do you read your Bible so that you understand it and can get anything/the most out of it?(respectfully)
How do you let go of bitterness that you didn't know you had and don't even know what you're bitter about but it's gotta be something cause it's spilling into your everyday life and others are noticing and you just can't seem to get a handle on it/life/good healthy choices?
How do you find good healthy people to surround yourself with when trusting people went out the window a long time ago?
There are more but I think those are some of the big ones for now. I'm so lost and I got nothin, and I know He's got everything but I was never taught how to know Him or learn, just read your Bible and pray, and for someone like me that is waaaayyyyyy hard then it sounds cause I can't stay focused if I don't know what I'm trying to learn.... I guess I'm trying to get pointed in the right direction so I can stop running in circles cause I'm crazy dizzy. Also my apologies if you don't understand something/anything I've written, my ADHD is off the hook today but I've been waiting to send it till I could focus but then when I'm focused I forget and when I'm having my squirrel moments I remember I want to ask and it's a nasty cycle so I think I was clear but if not please let me know.
Thank you for your time!!”
Below is my response...
“Hi there _____!
Glad you reached out and asked. That's a big deal! I was able to follow what you wrote, so no worries there. I had ADHD also, so I can understand scattered thoughts (lol).
I answered your questions best I could. Hope they are helpful. And if you have more follow-up questions, feel free to reply and continue the conservation. What I'm teaching on this Sunday is right in line with some of your questions, so I hope you can make it to service.
1. How do you know you're saved/a Christian?
First, if you know you sincerely believe in Jesus' death & resurrection as the sole reason you are saved and will spend eternity with God. Second, if you can honestly say that you see internal & external evidence of the Holy Spirit in your life—like are any of these verses Galatians 5:16-26 & Colossians 3:1-17 evident in your life in any way. This isn’t about being perfect or doing it all right or all the time. This is about genuinely knowing that your heart has been changed from sin to God. There is or has been some desire & progress in your life toward God and desire & progress away from how you used to live apart from God.
If these 2 aren't true of you, then you aren't saved (1John 3:7-10). But the fact that you're asking is a good sign toward you becoming saved or proving that you are. When in doubt, repent and start again.
Pray to Jesus to save you from your sin.
Ask Him for the faith to believe He really came to earth, really died on the cross for your sin, and really raised from the dead to give those who believe in Him eternal life over death.
Declare Jesus as the Ruler of your life.
Ask God to make it abundantly clear that the Holy Spirit is in you and is changing you.
Ask for the desire to change, the desire for Him, and the strength to move forward in His direction one step at a time.
If you pray this and mean it when you pray, the Bible says in Romans 10:9-13, “If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
2. How do you read your Bible so that you understand it and can get anything/the most out of it?(respectfully)
Start small. It's like learning a new language or a new skill. You take your time with it, you start small with it, and then as you get a better handle, you work your way up to reading more. Start with finding a Bible translation that makes sense to you today. As you grow, you will probably move onto another translation for where you are then. But right now, find one that is easy to understand. I say try the NLT (New Living Translation). Also, a simple Bible reading method is:
1. CHOOSE a chapter or passage in a chapter to read.
2. ASK ‘what do I plainly see about God (Father, Son/Jesus, Holy Spirit) in this chapter/passage?’, ‘how can what I plainly see about God help me in my life &/or in my relationship with God?’.
3. Go try to APPLY whatever is an obvious instruction and/or whatever may be a source of encouragement or correction.
4. PRAY about what you read, what you learned, and what you're going to try to apply.
For example, you can start with a Psalm a day. There's 150 psalms. That's 3 months' worth of reading your Bible. Or you can start with a book in the New Testament, like the Gospel of John or Ephesians. Read a chapter or a portion of a chapter a day. We also have about a dozen discipleship classes at the church that are designed to help you learn about being Christian, learn about what the Bible teaches, and get better at reading, studying, & understanding the Bible. Of course you can also download the Bible app and do their devotional plans. That's a great resource as well.
3. How do you let go of bitterness that you didn't know you had and don't even know what you're bitter about but it's gotta be something cause it's spilling into your everyday life and others are noticing and you just can't seem to get a handle on it/life/good healthy choices?
Time, prayer, and probably counseling (preferably Christian/biblical counseling) to talk through the junk and hurt. Bitterness is a root. So you gotta get to the bottom of it and pull it out.
4. How do you find good healthy people to surround yourself with when trusting people went out the window a long time ago?
Hmm, this is the trickiest because people are who they are. And every time trust is broken and you've been burned, it becomes harder & harder to re-trust again. I would start small and with prayer.
Ask God for what you want.
Pay attention to the people at the places where you frequent.
Talk about them with God in prayer—(here's what I see God, here's what I'm thinking God, etc).
Ask Him to show you in some way who is healthy & safe.
Then slowly integrate yourself around them.
Do some activity/event/group they're doing.
Open up to whatever is your safe limit (this is the vulnerability line where anything across this line is when you can be hurt again; stay behind this line until you're sure it's safe to proceed across it).
For example, I would say a place like CR (Celebrate Recovery) might be cool to try; or we have a monthly women's hang-out at Panera Bread (that's lowkey and could be a good place to try); or whenever our church resumes community groups, jumping into one of those would be cool to try; taking a class with a small, controlled group of people is a safe place to try this. Unfortunately, this one is primarily more trial & error until you find the right people. You have to observe, take some safe attempts, then see what's working & not working and retry until you find them.”
The person did reply, and they did come to church. I was told this year that they found a home church where they live and are more serious about God.
9/2023